Oooooh I forgot one of the most important cult!

COWCRESTS!
The people who only watch the show because they think Simon and Ryan are funny. Which they are.
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You all know...
That there are just some people...who like to analyze EVERYTHING. Every commercial has an latent message, and every time I find myself getting bored in class and my mind wanders, I am eventually seeking the answers to life's questions. (Latest being, Why does music sound good? What is attractive to look at?)
I have now come to the conclusion that there are 3 main categories of female AI fans.

Cookites and Johnsons i.e Michael Johns and David Cook fans
"Holy SHIT, Michael/David is so sexy I want to frikking *obscenity* him!"
Cookites and Johnsons were orginally two separate groups, but merged at some point between Hollywood week and 70s night. These are the people who first only liked them for their Godly singing voices, gradually they began to fan-girl them.
Cookites and Johnsons also like Carly's singing.

The Archuletta groupies, or the Archies (the latter sounds better, but is already taken) i.e David Archuletta fans.
"Awwwww! He's so cuuuute I want to give him a BIG hug! *coo*"
David Archuletta is very love-able. However, most of his fans, fell in love with him BEFORE he started singing at his audtion, not for his amazing singing voice (albeit a little too poppy for me),but for his looks.
They tend to pay less attention to his vocals during his performances, and more to his 'cute' expressions and locomotions (resembling those of a constipated person, in my opinion).
Their hobbies include yap-yap-yapping their best friend/sister/cousin's ear off about Archuletta.
Archuletta groupies also tend to swoon over Jason Castro, find Ramielle Malluby sweet and teddy-bear-like, and wish Brooke was their nanny.

And, lastly, The Converts.
"Omg David Cook is such a hottie!"
These, my friends, are the ex-Archies. They one day woke up and decided that he was 'sexy'. My only theory can be that Cook's deep, sexy voice in his performance of Billie Jean arose some lustful emotions in them.
These teeny boppers continue to yap-yap-yap their best friend/sister/cousin's ear off, this time about the OTHER David.